Athrun Zala Soldier of ZAFT

By the time people are reading this, i have had my nth cup of tea and have wringed out the last of the creative juices out of my brains. I pride myslef for being a multi-tasker. I can do a whole lot of things at the same time without losing quality as much as I see it. But then again, recently I think I am slowly losing it. It is becuase of age? Change in priorities? Stress perhaps? I don't know.

I just got back from a week long meeting in Berlin and I must say that I did quite well in that meeting. Or probably people are being nice. But still, I can't help but think why is my brain productivity starting to diminish. I look at the people around me and see that they are all able to do things with ease and turn up their work quite well. But for, it will take days on end just to come about with some draft letters or a report. I remember taking me two full months just to draft an annual report for my office and losing a substantial part of my draft after it was submitted for review of my boss. For some reason, it seemed as if as days go by, things are falling out of place. *sigh*

I am lost yet again. I do not know what to do. But still, I do not want life to pass me by and miss out on a lot of good things. Great things even.

I have a whole career ahead of me. Probable not with the same office where I am now but some place where I can not only find stability but that tingling sense of fulfillment. I want to change. Change for the better even! I want to finish graduate school and even get a Ph.D. I want to see the world and experience the culture. I want to have kids and enjoy my time with them and my wife to the fullest extent possible. But right now, I just want to be like the Germans. Efficient and wonderful in so many ways.

I am talking nonsense here and probably missing a point or two. Must be jet lag, must be the deadlines I have, must be my frustrations at work. I don't know. All I know is that I need to change. Everyday I wanted to, I just don't know where to start. I guess I will start now. Start on the little things. Afterwards, jet lag, timelines and deadlines would not even matter.

Note: Random ramblings are not for class exhibition. They are classified under "How Not to Write a Composition" file of your teacher in English or Communication. But what the heck, this is my blog and I write however I feel like writing.